Don’t make me sew my own panties

granny panties.jpg
No, not like these

Really, if I sewed at all these days I swear I would make my own underwear! You see, I have this idea for the perfect underwear. They’d be like boyshorts but longer (boyshorts are so short that my butt cheeks hang out, or if there is any sort of inseam at all, they ride up and create a big wad in my crotch. I don’t want that). They wouldn’t be snug like shapewear but rather sleek and comfortable, with a low-rise waistband. With regular panties, sometimes the elastic digs into my butt-leg crease, and that isn’t pleasant, nor does it do anything to alleviate the panty lines. SO, I want something like the granny panties in the photo above (like a 4-5″ inseam), but I don’t want them to reach up to my armpits, and I want cute colors. Has ANYONE seen ANYTHING like this out there, cuz if you haven’t, I AM MAKING MY OWN. WITH FOE (fold-over elastic).

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29 Responses to Don’t make me sew my own panties

  1. Nancy says:

    Make your own!!! They are so very easy and they are only one pattern piece!

  2. Lydia says:

    Ha! You crack me up! I’m glad I’ve never tried boyshorts, because I’d have that hanging-out problems in a big way.

  3. chris says:

    Ohhh, girl I hear ya on the boy shorts . . . they seem like such a good idea! I bought some recently, and discovered upon opening the package that they appear to be designed for someone with absolutely no butt at all, none! Against my better judgement I tried them anyway. And yeah, the crotch waddage thing was a problem among many other, ahem, issues.

  4. whitney says:

    Oh my goodness, I totally want underwear like that, too! I’ve never seen anything like them, though, and am as yet unskilled in the sewing/patternmaking department.

  5. Carla says:

    When you find it or start making it count me in.

  6. Melissa A. says:

    Those would be great, especially for leg chaffing! Which I do get if I wear a skirt.

  7. carolyn says:

    you are so fucking cracking me up right now, DH.

  8. becky says:

    Put that pattern up for sale when you perfect it. Please. Pretty please.

  9. splatgirl says:

    Have you ever tried mens boxer briefs? I know, it’s weird, but I knew this girl once who swore by them.
    or, what about finding something that is otherwise suitable and recutting and sewing the waistband on lower?

  10. beth says:

    Splatgirl is right, Mariko! You are looking for mens’ (well, in your case, BOYS’) boxer briefs! Only maybe without the boy crotch thingy. … I may have seen something like that at Title 9 once upon a time… although now I just see boy shorts on their website.

  11. sue says:

    the best underwear ever designed were Tap Pants….think 1930’s Busby Berkely chorus line practices, all the girls lined up wearing lightweight ‘shorts’ that had slightly widened natural (no elastic) legs with a slit up the side so they could kick high. They fit nicely (not baggy) over the rear, but then dropped down with a bit of ease to the hem. I had a friend in college who wore them in the 70’s and they looked so cute! ‘Course they had high (or natural) waists, but they could be made with a low-rider waist, too. They had about a 2-3″ inseam. Not practical under very tight pants as they’d show, but under skirts or looser pants, they’d be great.

  12. Kate says:

    I totally lurk and read this blog, and now I’m commenting on the underwear post apparently.
    But Hanes makes girl boxer briefs in cute colors and designs. They sell them at Target, and you have to buy a larger size than normal in order to avoid the leg riding up problem.
    The website only has them in boring colors, but at Target they come in bright colors and stripes.

  13. sarah says:

    Try Spanx, they don’t come in fun colors but they do have what you are looking for.

  14. becky says:

    I am almost finished with my pettipants/cullotte slip/pantalette. I just have to put on the elastic (I’m using lingerie elastic not FOE.) I wear undies under them, so they are more like a slip than panties.
    There’s a whole underground world of modest clothing so I suspect there might be something like this out there already. The LDS are way more fashionable than the fundamentalists though but I haven’t seen their undies.

  15. erika says:

    You want knickers from Gentry de Paris. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be sold anymore online, but keep your eyes peeled (and save your pennies)…or search for a photo and make your own version. They are fab!

  16. erika says:

    You want knickers from Gentry de Paris. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be sold anymore online, but keep your eyes peeled (and save your pennies)…or search for a photo and make your own version. They are fab!

  17. eleanor says:

    Try Assets – they are designed by the same woman who makes Spanx, but they are slightly cheaper and you can get them at Target.

  18. megan says:

    Free ball it, baby!! Your vagina just wants to breathe!!

  19. Sil says:

    OMG! I just spit my beverage upon my monitor. You are insane. Good panty luck to you.
    P.s. I’ve seen your ass and your asscheeks are at best “petite”.

  20. JP says:

    Grady loves the boxer-briefs — he likes the superhero style. Check out Fred Meyer young men’s or boys’.

  21. Mrs. Slab says:

    Hey Marge,
    They used to be called tap pants or something. In the old days you could buy them at stores that carried “foundations.” My grandma used to wear them.

  22. denise says:

    I also buy the Hanes from Target. They look like men’s boxer briefs but come in cute colors.

  23. g says:

    have you tried hiphugger style underwear? they look similar to boyshorts but are actually very different. they have more coverage so there isn’t a hanging out problem. no inconvenient front/back seams either. i like the victoria’s secret version (i keep getting free underwear coupons from them). don’t let the victoria’s secret aspect dissuade you from trying them. the elastic isn’t super duper tight at all. it’s just snug enough to stay put.

  24. g says:

    i should probably mention that i meant the regular VS Cotton hiphuggers. i just looked at the site and some of the other hiphuggers are not at all like what i described above.

  25. shelle says:

    make your own! I think it would be so satisfying, I have been contemplating it after realizing that most unders are made in China for about 25 cents and retail for at least 10$, that bugs me. I will admit that I like the ones just purchased from Anthropologie clearance price 10$, they will be my pattern to work from. good luck on your search.

  26. Maureen says:

    I agree with trying to find no-fly men’s boxer briefs and see if they work. If not and you want to make your own, I would suggest getting a pair of board shorts and use them as a pattern. I have seen them in lowrider styles and you can substitute elastic for the drawstring. If I find anything else for you I will post it.

  27. Muareen says:

    Check out
    and Their clothing is mainly granny schoolteacher styly but there are a couple of items on their lingerie pages that may be No lowriders, but nothing that you couldn’t roll down the waist and stitch into place and stitch into place.

  28. kim says:

    I’m with Eleanor on Assets – I love them and they are just like what I think you are looking for.

  29. Laine says:

    So I just bought the Hanes girl’s boxer briefs that Kate recommended, and they’re great!
    Nice and low cut on the hips. Legs short enough that they don’t feel like the old bike shorts. Long enough that my butt isn’t hanging out. They bunch a little bit in the crotch, but not enough to bother me. I’m not sure they’d be great under super tight things, but I like ’em!
    Target also had some similarly shaped seamless things, which might be another good option (no experience though).

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